Say you’re friends with a person that’s constantly doing nice things for you. You know these gestures are genuine and they don’t expect anything from you but somehow you feel obligated to reciprocate them. If someone does something for you there’s this notion or idea that you have to do something in return. That’s completely false and the worst way to go about life. I’ll explain exactly why doesn’t make sense.
Usually when one human does something for another human they’re reasoning behind it is “I did it because I’m a nice person”. No. No you didn’t. Nice people don’t walk around telling people they’re nice people. Just like humble people don’t tell people they’re humble.The reason for you doing so would be to convince other humans that you are. Stop doing that.
Now to the topic at hand.
If you go around thinking favor-doing is some sort of tit for tat game you’re going to be very unhappy in life for two reasons. Firstly if someone doesn’t return said “favor” you’re going to be upset about it. It’ll eat at you. “But why?” you’ll think to yourself. Stop. If you’re expecting something in return for what you did it isn’t a favor. It is now a business transaction; some sort of bartering system.
Secondly, it’s draining. The idea of knowing you owe someone something is an extra weight on your shoulders. They’ve become bills in a sense. The idea of having to repay someone is the same as having to pay monthly expenses. This type of thinking puts a damper on your relationship with the person. Some people just do things because they seem like the right thing to do.
If you give a homeless man fifty cents tomorrow, he isn’t mandated to give you fifty cents when you need it. You don’t expect him to. It wouldn’t make sense. It applies to everything. So don’t do favors expecting someone to return one to you. Also do not expect pomp and circumstance for every hung you do. It doesn’t work that way. If you don’t get a thank you, it’s okay. Remember no one asked you to do it. You volunteered your services. On the the flip side of the coin, don’t feel as you have to repay everyone for everything. Some things can only be repaid with gratitude.
Forget all this I owe you one business. You owe me none.