Being Selfless is Selfish

Some people have really big hearts. You’re supposed to be helpful and giving or whatnot. But what happens when you help so much it hurts you?

You’re supposed to give without remembering and receive without forgetting. But what happens when you can’t remember the last time you received? Or the things you’ve received came with conditions? What happens when this becomes the norm when interacting with the people you hold dearest to your heart? Do you continue to hold on? When is it okay to let go?

It’s a gift and a curse. You want the people you care about to grow so you provide whatever is necessary for said growth. So you try to teach them things that can use in everyday life so they can flourish and better themselves. Then you realize this isn’t what they really want. They’re comfortable with mediocrity. Now you realize trying to help that person grow left you stagnant. You put so much energy into helping that person that you no longer have any energy to help yourself.

In the moments in which all of this is happening you never notice it. You feel as they need you. In reality, you need them. You need to feel like you’re helping someone. Like you’re saving a life. So you sit through discomfort and pain because you think the ends will justify the means. Ask any firefighter or EMT you want and they’ll let you know you can’t save everybody.

You’ll never be 100%. You’ll always need to grow and putting your growth on hold for the sliver of potential you see in someone else isn’t always worth it. Know when to pack up call it a loss before you lose yourself. Because in all honesty being selfless is selfish.

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